Hey everyone! My name is Beymer and I am the author of the newsletter “Figuring Things Out”. This is my third article on psychology, which like my previous series on Music and Religion, is a subject I know little about. In fact, I really don’t know why I am writing about this subject, which is I think is best treated as “Don’t Ask and Don’t Tell”. But as a budding writer, I think writing respectfully about subjects that are not interesting to me and maybe even a little disgusting can only make me a better writer. Refer to my first article for a much more thorough disclaimer. In this article, I write about sexuality and gender identity. Let me state that I firmly believe, as a Libertarian, that neither the government, nor any public institution, nor any religious organization should have any power or control over an adult individual or group of adults to choose a particular lifestyle, as long as children are not involved and as long as no health issues are involved. I also believe those with male genitalia should use restrooms identified as being for men. I must also say I am quite puzzled by all this hoopla about sexuality and gender identity; that is, why do people from these groups feel compelled to publicize their bedroom or behind-closed-doors shenanigans? Why must they flaunt their sexuality in public? Why must anyone flaunt their sexuality in public? LGBTQ+ Pride Marches … what is all this about? This is what I want to explore in this article. I will be writing this article from the perspective of an old man, ok with bearing a penis and engaging in sex with my wife, a woman who is ok with bearing a vagina. I just don’t understand what’s all the fuss about. In this article, I will present some questionable data and pose some questions with the aim of understanding what’s going on with all this public and political exhibition of sexuality. Finally, I will present my conclusions.
Definitions
The following definitions were found on the online “Dictionary”:
“Sex refers to the genitalia present at birth and could be male, female, something in between male and female, or nothing.”
“Gender refers to a person’s sexual identity. The person may identify as a male, as a female, as something in between male and female, or as nothing.”
“Cisgender refers to a person who identifies with the gender assigned at their birth.”
“Heterosexual or Straight refers to someone attracted to people of the opposite sex.”
“Homosexual or Queer or Gay (man) or Lesbian (woman) refers to someone who is attracted to people of the same sex.”
“Bisexual refers to someone who is attracted to both sexes.”
“Asexual refers to a person who experiences little or no sexual attraction to others.”
“Polysexual refers to a person who is attracted to all genders.”
“Non-Binary refers to people whose gender identity does not correspond with any of the available options such as male or female.”
Terminology
The article “What Does LGBTQ+ Mean” by the psychologist Kendra Cherry (refer to the website What Does LGBTQ+ Mean?) does a great job explaining the communities of people who deviate from the classical sexuality involving interaction between a man born with a penis and a woman born with a vagina. In that article, she presents what each letter/symbol in the acronym means and explains the psychological importance of these classifications for the psychological well-being of those who identify with these classifications. I’m sure there are many other articles in books, magazines and on the Internet that are just as great. Some of these articles may even be written by authors who associate themselves with one or more of the letters/symbols in the acronym LGBTQ+. I assume such authors may provide an even more realistic insight, being from the “inside” rather than an “outside” observer. So, I will not repeat any of this material in this article … I could never do it justice, being neither a psychologist nor identifying with any of the letters in that acronym. Let me just state the word associated with each letter and let you refer elsewhere for the meaning. L is from Lesbian: G is from gay: B is from bi-sexual: T is from transgender: Q is from queer: ‘+’ refers to all other gender and sexuality identifications.
Demographics for the LGBTQ+ Community
According to the 2022 Gallop Poll, 7.1% of all U.S. adults self-identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or something other than heterosexual. According to the SexualAlpha website, the figure is now 11.7%. This website claims to have gotten this statistic from the US Census Bureau; however, what I found on Census Bureau website was this: 4.4% Bisexual, 3.3% Gay or Lesbian, 1.9% Something else, 2.1% “I don’t know”, and 89.1% Straight. Adding the first three gives 9.6%. I think SexualAlpha also added the 2.1% “I don’t know” to get their 11.7%. I saw on another website that younger people tend to overestimate the percentage to as high as 24%. It’s no wonder they may think this … it seems every TV show or movie has at least one lesbian or gay couple! Let’s assume the real number is 10%. Well, that is pretty high! It’s almost as high as the percentage of Black people and is far greater than the percentage of Asian people in the USA. I assume this 10% non-straight percentage applies also to these ethnicities: that is, I see no reason why it would be higher or lower for either ethnicity.
Innocuous, Sanitizing Labels for Sexual Preference
The classification words (labels) Gay and Lesbian sound innocuous enough and could be used in any public setting without any embarrassment for the speaker or for the listener. But what do these words really mean? Saying that a man is Gay is fairly harmless but specifying the details of the sexual acts enjoyed by that man definitely would not be appropriate in public. For example, a man stating in public he is proud to be Gay is one thing but stating that he was proud to enjoy having another man’s penis in his mouth or anus is quite a different situation. Of course, it would still not be appropriate, if a man publicly stated that he was proud to enjoy or oral or anal sex with a woman. However, note that the Gay man is much more likely to flaunt his sexuality than the straight man. The interesting thing here is that by carefully labeling the sexuality of a person, there is a sanitizing effect, which distracts one away from the actual sexual acts practiced by someone choosing that lifestyle. I recall when the word “Gay” became popular … that sure did sound much more appealing than “queer”, “homo”, “faggot”, or “fairy”. It’s amazing how powerful a carefully crafted label can be.
Continuing on with the actual sexual acts involved instead of the carefully chosen innocuous, sanitizing labels, let’s enumerate the possible sexual acts that can be performed. First, let’s consider the “tools” involved in the physical aspects of sex. There are only a few possibilities with respect to the biological tools appearing at birth. A person could be born with only a penis: A person could be born with only a vagina: A person could be born with neither a penis nor a vagina: A person could be born with both a penis and a vagina (here, one or both of the genitalia here could possibly be underdeveloped). After birth and during the transition into adulthood, a surgeon for whatever reason could change the physical aspects of an individual. That’s it … I cannot think of any other possibilities. Of course, there are also the fingers, hands and various human folds that can be involved in a sexual act. In addition, there exist non-biological or human-made tools, often referred to as sex toys.
Now that I have listed the “tools” of sexuality, let me describe briefly and tastefully how these tools may be used to engage in sex or sexual intercourse. First, let’s define all the tools that could be a receptacle. By receptacle, I mean a tool that has an opening or fold into which another tool could be inserted. Possible receptacles include sex toys (replicas of the mouth, vagina or anus), the mouth, the anus, various body folds, and the vagina. Next, let’s define all the tools that could be a plug. By plug, I mean a tool could be inserted into a receptacle tool. Possible plugs include sex toys (replicas of the penis), the fingers, the fist, the toes, the tongue, the nose, and the penis. With these preliminaries out of the way, we can now define the sex act or sexual intercourse as simply the insertion of a plug into a receptacle. Note that I only included sex acts that involve insertion of one tool into another tool; however, I guess it’s possible for two Gays or two Lesbians to rub their genitalia without any penetration. Maybe these two sexual acts are important? If so, then there are now 37 different sexual acts! But wait … what if other tools can be rubbed? Ok, enough is enough: I think my point is clear enough with just 35 sexual acts! (LOL)
Based on there being five listed “receptacles” and there being seven listed “plugs”, there are therefore five times seven or 35 different types of sexual intercourse. Of course, the expert on this term, William Clinton (ex-President who made famous the phrase “I did not have sexual relations with that woman”), would probably disagree with most of these activities being referred to as sex. And of course, how could I forget the cigar as a possible plug tool? (LOL) Should there be an innocuous label or name given to each of these sexual acts? For example, consider a sexual act where a birth-defined female engages only a sexual act where she inserts her finger into a man’s mouth. Perhaps we could call this type of sex doigt-en-bouche (French for finger in mouth) or dib. Such practitioners could now refer to themselves as being Dib. Then we would have another letter … LGBTQD+. We could continue this on ad infinitum for the rest of the 35 possibilities until there was no longer a need for the ‘+’. After all, what makes the lesbian, the gay and others so special that they get letters but the others only a ‘+’? But of course, the smaller number of sexuality labels represent collections of these sex acts, so it’s best to not label each sex act unless that sex act is also a sexuality label.
Let’s make some graphs that illustrate the sexual acts performed by the existing labeled sexualities (e.g., gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc..,). Take a sheet of paper and use vertical and horizontal lines to make 35 squares. Title this sheet as Gay at the top. Now, enter a ‘1’ in the first square, a ‘2’ in the next square, and so on until each square has a number. Make a list of all the possible 35 sex acts and associate each sex act with a number and hence a square on the paper. On this sheet, which is titled as Gay, color red each square that corresponded to a sex act performed by gay men. Repeat this process by creating new sheets for Lesbian, Bisexual, heterosexual, and all other labels of sexuality. You now have detailed what it really means to be Gay or whatever. I think this exercise really drives home what such labels mean and opens the curtains just like Toto did in the “Wizard of Oz”.
Emotional Bond Between Two Individuals: Not a Man and a Woman
Many of the types of sexual intercourse mentioned in the previous section could be performed between two or more women, two or more men, or some combination of men and women. Traditionally, when a man and woman have sexual relations, there develops an emotional bond between the two. Assuming that the sexual intercourse is pleasurable and that it could be performed by two individuals with the same genitals, the question is whether the development of an emotional bond between the two individuals of the same sex is natural. That is, if two women pleasure each other sexually, will an emotional bond develop? Well, if you enjoy someone’s company then this will be case, so why wouldn’t the same happen if the enjoyment was due to sexual pleasure? But the more interesting question is why would two individuals with the same genitals initiate a sexual relation? An even better question is why would they be attracted to each other physically?
Someone Not Comfortable with their Genitals present at Birth
Assume someone is born with a penis. Assume further that the person develops into an adult who doesn’t like being a man. Maybe he wants to be a woman: Maybe he doesn’t like being a man nor a woman: Maybe he wants to keep his genitals but wants to dress and behave like a woman. The question here is why? Is this a genetic thing gone awry? Did some psychological trauma occur when he was younger? Did some type of sexual abuse occur to him when younger? Was it a mommy thing? Was it a father thing? Was it a Catholic Priest thing?
Someone OK with Their Genitals but not the Behavior Expected
Suppose you were born with a vagina and you’re ok with it (maybe you really enjoy it). Suppose however that you don’t like dolls: You don’t like acting like a girl: You don’t like the religious (Baptist and Muslim views on women) view of obeying your man: You don’t like dresses: You don’t want to be a baby factory: You don’t like wearing makeup: You don’t like shaving your legs: You hate it when men look at you as the inferior sex! You want the same opportunities as men: You want to be treated the same way a man would in the work environment. So, what are your options? Well, assuming you’re happy with your vagina and sex with men, one option would be to proclaim non-Binary status. Another option would be to proclaim Transgender status. I suspect neither of these gender identities would solve your problem, especially since you enjoy sex with men. Only a change in societal views on the roles of women in the workplace would solve this problem.
Questions
According to US Census Bureau, 10% of the population doesn’t claim to be heterosexual and may not identify with either male or female as their gender. This statistic begs the following questions:
Why wouldn’t a man (woman) be satisfied with sex exclusively with a woman (man)?
Why would a man (woman) desire sex with someone not a woman (man)?
Why would a man (woman) choose to identify as a woman (man)?
Why would a man (woman) choose to identify as a blend of that associated with their genitals and the opposite?
Why would a man (woman) choose to be no gender?
What role does environment have in sexuality and gender identification?
What role does genetics have in sexuality and gender identification?
What role does human evolution have in sexuality and gender identification?
Are the members of this community mentally disturbed? That is, is this something that could be cured with medicine and therapy?
Hatred and/or Violence Towards Minority Sex Groups
I believe that evolution and its desire to squash the minority is the source of hate against those whose sexuality and gender identification differ from the majority. I discussed this in my previous article on racism. Evolution seeks to pit different communities against each other … survival of the fittest, or more accurately, survival of the strongest. All of the following are major contributors to this hatred of and violence against those whose sexuality and gender identification deviates from the majority of the population:
People flaunting their sexuality. Unwelcome promotion of a lifestyle that many may find disgusting will most likely end in violence of some kind.
Familial persecution. Having a child or family member that adopts a sexuality or gender identification that deviates from that of the majority of society can be an embarrassment to the family as a whole and can cause other problems to the family. If the family accepts the member’s choice, problems at work, in social circles or in their church can occur. If the family shuns the member, then other emotional problems can occur. Regardless of the family’s response, life will be more difficult for both the family and the family member.
Religious persecution. Religion is all about conformance to some set of rules as defined by the leaders of the religion. For a religion to grow, it’s important that the followers start families, which will keep the religion growing. Sexualities that don’t produce children don’t keep the religion growing.
Government persecution. This persecution is based off the religions of the people that run the government. Note that a government can only be as tolerant as the people running the government. If the government employees and leaders are religious fanatics with strong sexuality rules, those citizens not conforming will suffer.
Conclusions
After some Internet surfing and some thought on the subject, I have come to the following conclusions:
Evolutionary forces are what resulted in this 10% of the population that deviates from the sexuality and gender identification of the majority of the population. Genetics and environment factors combine with evolutionary forces to produce such a population of sexuality outliers, much the same as different ethnicities were produced.
Sexuality or gender identity that deviates from the majority of the population is not a mental or genetic disease. It’s a mutation from evolution that will always occur. This population will always exist regardless of religious, governmental or familial persecution. These persecutions can force these individuals back into the proverbial closet, but it cannot “cure” them.
All governmental laws penalizing sexual acts of consenting adults should be removed. The government has no business in the homes of consenting adults. By the same token, those who practice sexuality and/or gender identity that deviates from the majority should not be flaunting it at the general population nor should they be making demands upon the general population to support their sexuality.
All laws that add stiffer penalties for crimes (referred to as hate crimes) based on a victim’s race, religion, sexuality, and so on are just stupid laws that politicians and legislators use to pretend they really care. Violence against someone may or may not be a hate crime, but the result is the same. Punish those who inflict violence against someone according to the crime, not the victim’s membership in some community!